Day to day caretaking takes fortitude, but can yield some pretty great life lessons...

Months of questionable activities on Mom’s part suddenly make perfect sense, and I am terrified.

Logistically, I’m the reasonable choice. My brother lives 2000 miles away in Florida and my sister is about 4 towns north of me. I live the closest to Mom, therefore, I should take care of her. Proximity is the primary caretaking factor. Period. End of story. Right?

The mother I have today, is not the mother I had growing up. In fact, there’s very little about today’s Mom that looks like the, say, 1958-1981 version.

Ultimately, I don’t believe my post-Mom memory will be the young 55-72 version. And if she lives to be 100+ (entirely possible), she’ll certainly look old when she dies, but her face is not what I’ll remember most.

Enjoying retirement is visible, but not yet tangible. We’ve stalled in a place called Limbo... a state that’s full of unanswered questions and what-ifs. It’s a stage where our future, literally, depends on the lives of other people.

Mary’s social behavior is exemplary (no swear words or scowls), and she uses her melodic “inside voice” at all times – even when an outside voice would be perfectly acceptable. She guides students at school, and teaches CCD on weekends. Mary is... an angel.

Maybe carpools and playdates (“stay-dates,” “grey-dates"?) are just the tip of the iceberg. Such a simple concept that’s been around since the beginning of time...combining hunters with gatherers... teamwork. 

When do you start putting the reality next to the fantasy about how long you’ll live? What happens when everything’s checked off your bucket list? Do you make a new one? Throw in the towel and say good-night? Eternally?  

It’s very funny when my 91 year old mother fumes with frustration at me and, in heated seriousness, snaps “FECK OFF.” When it happened.....

I pulled out the soap box. Not a real one (what is a soap box anyway?), but a virtual one...the kind you stand on when you need a little height to project your important message out to the masses....

Like a box of chocolates- you never know what you’ll get with your aging mother. Sometimes, you put your finger in the middle, and feel an OMG-I-can’t-believe-we’re-doing-this-again piece. 

Me and my friends, sitting on the beach, sucking up the sun...  ahhhhh...feels the same today, as it did 40 years ago. Sort of...

At first, I thought it would be the same thing – taking care of children and caretaking aging parents.

DEFACTO....We don’t plan on it.... it just happens. Unsuspecting adult children, incrementally caring for aging parents.

Yesterday was Mom’s “annual physical.” Ahem... didn’t we just have one of those? Apparently not....